Smitty’s Loose Change: Padres, Pujols and a Putrid Writing Professor

San Diego had a day off yesterday, just so they could let their scoreless start to 2016 really sink in. They’re in Denver for the weekend. And you’re still rooting for them to get blanked three straight at Coors, aren’t you? You sadist.

Albert Pujols reminded everyone last night that he’s still Albert Pujols. The Rangers walked Mike Trout to get to Pujols, whose mean mug might have scared reliever Shawn Tolleson into grooving one for Uncle Albert. Final score Angels 4, Texas 3.

The Baltimore Sun published a “commentary” piece this morning that might have been ghostwritten by Montgomery Burns his damn self. Lynne Agress, who – get this – teaches writing, penned this run-on screed, lamenting “the dumbing down of a generation.” “They text, they Facebook (now and a noun and verb, like Google), tweet and blog.” If Agress was your writing teacher, I hope you kept your tuition receipt.

Speaking of Baltimore, the O’s swept Minnesota in the first series of the year. And they did it on the strength of their starting pitching. Nobody saw that coming.

Have you been to a ballgame yet? Duke Jackson reminds you that your favorite team might not have your best gastrointestinal interests at heart.

Just when you thought Scott Fendley’s “most disappointing season” series couldn’t get better, it got better. This week, Fendley brought us the Rangers/Senators’ most disappointing season (1971), but followed it immediately with a bonus “special disappointment:” the 2001 A-Rod Rangers. Fendley says Alex Rodriguez’s contract that year was so awful it merited its own installment.

There’s an interesting argument happening at The Washington Post. Is it time to forgive Jonathan Papelbon yet? Yes, it is. Or hell no it isn’t.

Say goodbye to the rest of your afternoon. Check out Pick a country on the map, pick a decade and listen to a totally random sample of music from that country during that decade. Whatever time or place you choose, make sure the “weird” button is clicked.

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