Major League Baseball asked for our opinion through the MLB app. After much thinking, we responded.

Finally. Major League Baseball has sought me out. Me alone, I’m sure. “What does Bob think?” someone must have asked. “I have a pretty good idea,” came the reply. “He writes down virtually everything he thinks on Thespitter.com website. Kind of annoying to tell you the truth.”

And so it is that The Spitter fills out a survey that promises to take 25 minutes. My first regular part time job was conducting telephone surveys with a bald guy named Bill, a muscle bound four-eyed monster whose name I can’t recall (John?) and a young, chesty smoker named Tully who almost immediately was asked to work closer to the bosses’ offices. The summer of 1991 was a crazy time in Reno. Lots of people still smoked. The minimum wage was somewhere around $5/hr. The prettiest girl at the University of Nevada worked there for two days. Franklin Bregman and Maulin was not a place where Amy Campbell would work for more days than that.

Back to the survey: if the caller says 20 minutes, count on 40. If the idiot on the other end of the survey is writing down his answers, count on an hour. Here goes with my actual answer followed by commentary that I couldn’t add.

On a scale of 0 to 10, how much are you enjoying the 2024 MLB season?

6. Blown calls and an MLB app that makes it a pain to get tickets or to listen to a game without having to load a new game and then having to go back to the old one seven times makes me grumpy.

Select the year you were born: 1970. Why you trying to pigeonhole me, bro?

Which of the following best describes how you feel about baseball? Love it. Other options:

Hate it. Yes. I hate it. That’s why I have the app on my phone…to punish me.

Other options: Dislike it, Neutral, Like it.

Who is the most exciting player to watch in Major League Baseball right now?

Philadelphia Phillies third baseman, Alec Bohm. It would be Shohei, but Shohei doesn’t play the field…not yet.

Please rate your level of agreement with the following statements

Major League Baseball games have too many strikeouts.

Strongly agree, Somewhat agree, Somewhat disagree or…

Strongly disagree. Uh oh. What are you thinking about doing? Three balls for a walk? Putting the mound farther from home plate? Giving less time for the pitcher? Or…making home plate and the strike zone smaller? I don’t trust you and for good reason.

Major League Baseball games are boring (same answer options).

Strongly disagree. They are only boring to people who don’t understand the game. They don’t understand the game because MLB is doing a lousy job going to communities with the game. The game is dying. The old Yankees players did this thing called barnstorming. It worked.

Major League Baseball games have too many home runs.

Strongly disagree. Why? are you thinking about bringing in the fences to increase “excitement” because you haven’t taught kids and fans to think along with the pitcher and catcher while they are trying to outsmart the batter? If you move the fences or make the ball lighter, you totally destroy the ability to compare the eras. Eras become important as your fan base ages. Oh, you won’t have to worry about that because you are failing so spectacularly in teaching kids the game. And no, Little League coaches giving their sons preferential playing positions and playing time does not count as “teaching” or “growing the game.”

Major League Baseball games are too slow.

Only because of broadcast delays that keep the players from playing. Strongly disagree.

If you could change one thing about the on-field game, what it would it be? The obvious answer is the umpiring, but I am anti-robot and I’m pretty sure that’s where you’re headed with this. Businesses are always trying to work cheaper -except for MLB and player salaries- and people are losing their jobs as a result.

My son says the foul pole should be much higher. Can’t argue with that.

How many MLB games have you attended in 2024?

One. Trick question and I am going to lie to you. Here’s why. I took my son on a field trip and we saw five games. Click HERE to listen to episode one of our podcast. If I tell you we went to five games, then you think this is a normal occurrence. It is not. In the average year, we go to one. Now that tickets are stupidly expensive, that average will likely drop to a half. I mean, really, bleacher seats are now $50-70 each? I don’t remember my salary doubling…

Which MLB team are you interested in? Lots.

Thinking of your favorite team, to what extent do you agree with the following statements?

I’m excited about the players in the team’s Minor League system? Strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, strongly disagree, N/A

Good question. Impossible to say because the minor leaguers are not really discussed during MLB national or team broadcasts. So, N/A can mean not applicable or not available. Those are two very different answers in this case. My question is, are you going to use the answer to this to remove even more minor league teams and local jobs because team owners refuse to institute a salary cap that would benefit everyone?

I feel valued as my favorite team’s fan. Somewhat disagree. Another good question. I feel like I am constantly being sold something. I hate that feeling. You want to know the feeling I loved? Finding out my son got free hot dogs with our seats at Nationals Park. That made me feel valued. So did the stickers and buttons he got for his first game.

I feel invested in/connected to players on my favorite team. Third good question in a row! Somewhat agree, just because of how the players play and what kind of people they seem to be. However, asides from the balls thrown into the stands, I see no connection. I see bats for $300 in the gift shop, but no autograph sessions for kids. Which one is going to make the game healthy?

Your favorite team’s organization is headed in the right direction: Somewhat agree. Injuries to the pitching staff have been frequent and troublesome. I am not sure the scouts and numbers crunchers are looking for durability. It all seems to be spin rate and miles-per-hour. The team salary is fantastically high and so are the number of player days on the Injured List.

I have an emotional connection with my favorite team.

Strongly agree.

I grew up watching and listening to Vin Scully, Joe Garagiola, Hank Greenberg, Bill King, and Lon Simmons. And, my favorite color as a six-year-old boy was blue. I had a good base to be a fan. Today’s kids have A-Rod and some tough-talking hair helmet?

How important is each activity to you?

Watching or streaming sports? Very important, but I’m in the minority here. This questionnaire is going to people with the MLB app. So the percentage of responses from this sample population will be high. The sport is dying. Recognize.

Purchasing/collecting NFTs. Considering I had to look it up to remind me what it was, I would say: Not at all important.

Playing video games: slightly important

Attending a sporting event: It used to be very important, but that is dropping to somewhat important because you are making it harder every year with the post-Covid price gouging.

What is the element for each of the following questions that is most important to you when thinking about engaging with baseball in the future?

1. Has entertaining free digital games for me to play or offers a wide range of physical items I can collect (e.g. trading cards).

I like free, but I also like collecting cool things…to a point. I don’t want to feel like I have to collect every widget and hoozit. A wider array would appeal to me if the price was reasonable, which based on recent trips to parks, is not likely to happen. Let’s go with free with the hope you won’t gouge me when you roll out the scratch-and-sniff Expos fanny pack with glitter straps and matching choker.

2. Provides opportunities to make money via gambling or is a game with players that I am invested in and/or feel connected to.

Opportunities to make money equals opportunities to lose it. I want to have good people to root for. Period.

3. Has a stadium I can get to conveniently or has entertaining free digital games for me to play.

In person is better. I don’t need for me or my family to be on their phones any more than we already are. Stadiums.

4. Is a sport where my team has a chance of making the playoffs or is easy to understand.

Making it easy to understand is by far more important for the overall health of the game. Strong fan bases go for the game itself and the competition, not because they are bandwagoners.

5. Has games I can afford to attend or showcases the athletic ability and skill of the players.

Great question! I can’t see the athletic ability of the players if I can’t afford to go to the games.

6. Provides opportunities to make money via gambling or offers NFTs that have meaning to me (e.g., special moments I was present for).

Uh…what? Is neither an option? Again, looking up non-fungible block chain collectible urrrugggackk on line, I would say that one.

7. Offers new/trendy merchandise for the sport or for my favorite team or is a game with players that I enjoy following on social media.

I love hats and T-shirts. Your idea of trendy is neon Miami rave vomit. If I follow players on social media, I’m unaware of it. Make the hats cooler and have the players actually meet and greet the fans and sign autographs? That’s a better option.

8. Provides entertainment at the stadium beyond the game (e.g. entertainment between innings, fireworks, concerts, etc.) or is affordable to watch my teams play via TV/streaming.

If we could afford to go more games now, this would be tougher to call. Since we view most of the games or listen to them, affordablility wins. My son says the same, but would like to see more entertainment options in between innings when viewing a game in person.

9. Has reasonably priced merchandise for the sport or my favorite team or offers NFTs that have meaning to me (e.g., special moments I was present for).

Merch. Still don’t understand NFTs. Are those things like retirement ceremonies?

10. Features games between rival teams or has reasonably priced merchandise for the sport or my favorite team.

Hmmmm. I hate that there are fewer rivalry games and I miss the four-game series. I love cool merch. 51/49 rivals.

Please select the number 5 from the list below. Screw you. I do what I want. Three. Oh. Well, apparently I don’t.

How do you follow Major League Baseball?

1. Play fantasy baseball.

Nope. Played fantasy hockey once. Wayyyy too much time.

2. Purchase/collect baseball-related NFTs.

Nope. Nope. Hell to the nope. My son says it’s kind of dumb. You can collect pictures as part of the experience of going to a game.

3. Listen on the radio. Absofrigginlutely. Former minor league and high school baseball broadcaster here. It’s hard though in some parts of the country to get a game on AM.

4. Check standings and stat leaders.

Yep. Standings board is up in my classroom.

5. Purchase/collect physical collectibles (e.g. trading cards, bobbleheads).

Trying not to, but I buy them for the boy. My wife, strangely, has become interested in the collecting game. This is weird because she’s always telling me to throw stuff away.

6. Attend games.

Barely. See above, or see the hole in my wallet.

7. Watch on TV or stream.

Yep

8. Play free-to-play predictive baseball games (e.g. Beat the Streak).

Didn’t know that existed. NFL on FOX does a vastly superior job promoting their “Win Terry’s Money” game.

9. Talk about MLB with family and/or friends.

You’re reading this. You are hereby adopted.

10. Follow team’s social media pages (e.g. Instagram, Tik Tok, etc.).

Facebook/Meta/Whatever. I think I have a Tik Tok account but it was an accident.

11. Play video games (e.g. MLB the Show).

Yep. Having a 12-year-old makes that kind of a thing. RBI Baseball with the 86 Red Sox was better.

12. Gambling on game scores or prop bets.

Nope.

13. Read news and analysis. Yep.

14. Purchase merchandise. Yep.

Which do you use to follow baseball news and or events?

1. MLB.com/MLP app. Yep

2. MiLB.com. Occasionally, for stats.

3. Team sites. Yep

4. Overall sports/entertainment websites (e.g., ESPN, The Athletic, Bleacher Report, Barstool Sports) Yes

5. Baseball-specific websites (e.g., Rotoworld, Baseball Reference, MLB Trade Rumors):

Where in the hell is The Spitter? No respect. No goddamned respect.

6. Following on social media (e.g., Facebook, X, Tik Tok). Yes, but I don’t spend a lot of time on them.

7. Local newspaper:

Speaking of dying things. No. The paper where we previously lived stopped posting the stat leaders in the sports section as it shrank the overall paper to the size of a Post-It with 4-point font. We now live where there is only a weekly.

8. Podcasts. Occasionally. I enjoy Byrnes and Clark. Too many F-words, though, so I can’t share with junior, who is the type of person who should be listening if those two really want to improve the health of the game.

How do you watch MLB on TV or through a streaming service?

1. Almost every game that my favorite team plays: on the app, yes. On cable? Nope, that’s what the app is for so I can listen to it the next day.

2. Most games. Okay, maybe it’s most.

3. Some regular season and playoffs postseason. Sounds like my hockey and basketball-watching habits.

4. Only the playoffs/postseason. Definitely hockey and basketball. More hockey than basketball, though nowadays.

5. Only highlights/recaps. When I was 12, yes.

6. I don’t watch Major League Baseball therefore I am a sad little troll and have no real reason to live.

Where do you watch?

1. Apple TV. Is that a thing?

Fox/FS1. Not with a pregame featuring Alex Rodriguez.

2.ESPN/ESPN2. Yep

3. YouTube. Uh, What?

4. MLB Network. Yes. I love knowing that someone is forcing young women to wear second story spandex dresses and high heels in order to have a job after the game is over.

5. TBS/TNT My cable provider doesn’t have these anymore.

6. NBC/Peacock. Uh. What?

7. My local regional Sports Network (e.g. NBCSChicago). Yep.

Overall satisfaction with the announcers:

1.MLB Network: Is A-Rod involved in the broadcast? No. Highly Satisfied.

2. Local regional: Is A-Rod involved in the broadcast? No? Highly Satisfied.

3. ESPN/ESPN2: Is A-Rod involved in the broadcast? No? Highly Satisfied.

Production quality: Same

How do the following broadcast features impact your viewing experience? Improve my experience, worsen my experience, no change to my experience, N/A (I wasn’t aware of this).

1. Unique camera angles (e.g. umpire, drone cameras): Improve

2. Stat insights and visualizations: Improve

3. Alternate broadcast with kid-friendly animation/graphics. N/A. Never seen it.

4. Mic’d up players. Okay, so this was a problem during the All-Star game. Joe Davis was trying to talk to the pitchers in between pitches. Apparently, Davis forgot that the pitchers now have an earpiece to hear the catcher and they don’t have a lot of time to yack with geeks up in the press box because there is now a pitch clock. Otherwise, it’s been pretty entertaining to hear from the players during the game. The first time there is an error committed by a player wearing one, look out. Improve.

5. Alternative broadcasts with celebrities/former players (e.g. KayRod Cast, ManningCast). I really don’t need famous people figuring out new ways to be famous. As a broadcaster, it irritates me to know that real professionals are being upstaged because the giggle twins want another look-at-me moment. Worsen.

6. Sports betting advertising on television or in-stadium distracting or inappropriate. Yes.

Thinking of the 2024 season, how often are you betting on baseball?

1. Multiple times per day. Good lord no. I have crap to do.

2. Daily. Yikes.

3. Weekly. Less of a problem, but still.

4. Between 1 and 3 times per month. Everything in moderation, I guess.

5. A few times per season or less. I’ll bet you’re going to be shocked by this, but this is not me either. Where’s zero?

Where do you go most often to get information before making selections for baseball fantasy, free-to-play, or betting picks?

MLB, Podcasts, Radio Shows, National sports broadcasts, third party (Action Network, BetQL, ESPN.com) MLB.com/MLB app,

Other Fill in the blank. The Spitter, of course! Duh!

Scale of 0 to 10, what is your current level of concern re coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic?

Aren’t we up to Covid-24 yet? 0

Do you believe MLB games in 2024 will be safe to attend, unsafe to attend, or is it too early to know?

Reusing questions from previous years much? Safe. Just don’t cough on me. That’s all I ask.

Level of interest in the following: None, low, moderate, high.

NBA 2k: none

International Soccer: moderate

Hockey: high

Football: high

College basketball: high

WNBA: none (Sorry, ladies.)

NBA: moderate (and falling).

MLS: none

U.S. Women’s Soccer: none

College Football: moderate

Baseball: high

That’s it! 25 short minutes. Right? So what were your answers? Feel free to weigh in using the comments function.