Dude, Baseball Is Fun Again, Bro

It’s been a crazy week for Bryce Harper and his “Make Baseball Fun Again” campaign. Whether you think him a punk or a hero (or some combination of those two things), you can’t deny that Harper is bringing attention to the game.

Among the many new fans Harper has drawn to the sport, the brothers at the Beta Rho Omega fraternity, on the campus of Georgetown University, are certainly some of the most energetic. They recently wrote their new idol a fan letter, a copy of which has been obtained by The Spitter.

From the Desk of the President of the Beta Rho Omega House, Washington, D.C.

Dear Bro,

We are totally stoked about your whole make baseball fun again thing. Everyone’s been super bummed around here since Bernie’s campaign went in the tank, so you’ve really given us a new cause to rally around.

One thing that got us super amped about MBFA is that baseball definitely used to be wicked boring. It always pissed me off when my dad would, like, be watching a baseball game and all I wanted to do was watch the UFC or play Call of Duty. And of course dude was too cheap to get me my own TV. But whatever. Now we’ve got a 96-inch screen at the frat house, so that loser can suck it.

Anyway, the point being, that is, that baseball was slow, and no one had cool hair or ran around screaming for no reason. We’re all hugely in favor of screaming for no good reason. It’s pretty much our second favorite thing to do (I’m sure you can guess the first).

And now baseball is fun again. You’ve made it so cool to be a baseball fan that half the dudes in the frat got their hair and beards styled to match yours. We’ve even started hosting viewing parties – did I mention the 96-inch screen? – and girls have been showing up. Real, available girls. Not just the girls Jimmy brings over.

(Because Jimmy’s always bringing girls over. I mean, dude crushes. Amiright, Jimmy?!… Jimmy and I just did a fist-bump… Now Jimmy’s fist-bumping the rest of the guys in the frat… Ok, we’re back.)

One thing I’ve noticed though dude is that, um, baseball even without the beards and the screaming is actually kind of fun already. I don’t know what happened or when – I was pretty much wasted 24/7 my freshman and sophomore years, so I totally could have missed it – but there’s some really cool shit going on in baseball right now.

Sounds kinda weird to say, right? But dudes don’t have to retire at 26 because they’re worried about traumatic head injuries, and some of them play for the same team for more than three years, and the overall talent level is sick, like at a party the Phi-Delt girls show up to. Insane.

So, you got us bro. Sign us up. We can organize rallies, hold beer bashes, put together a kickball fundraiser. Whatever you need. You name it.

Your Bros,

Beta Rho Omega Fraternity

P.S. We know Bernie’s basically finished, but we’re still holding a naked bike ride in his honor next Wednesday night. We’d be totally, totally stoked if you could make it. It’s definitely worth the trip. Despite being kinda granola, the chicks at these Bernie events are usually pretty stellar.

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