Seven Things To Help The Astros Come Back From 2-0 Deficit

So, even though, we picked the Washington Nationals to beat the Houston Astros, we never said we wanted the season to end before the weekend was over. So let’s see if we can’t help Astros manager AJ Hinch with a couple of things as he’s applying ice bags to the back of his team’s ego.

First, stick with what got you here. After zero intentional walks the entire year, you walk Jaime Soto to get to Howie Kendrick with the bases loaded. Kendrick is 5 for 12 on the year with the bases juiced. Look. you can’t beat Soto with any inside cheese or anything out over the plate. But the guy isn’t Superman. He can be beaten with breaking pitches away. But you have to out-think him because he is very good at guessing.

Second, the same goes for Howie Kendrick. You have to out-think him. He hit .344 this year for a reason. Did you not see what he did to the Dodgers in the National League Division Series Game 5? He’s the reason you’re playing the Nationals.

Hinch admitted after the game he had “poured gasoline on the fire.”

Love that. Also, it’s not his fault Bregman skilleted the ground ball in the hole.

skilleted past tense and chiefly dialectal past participle of skillet. definition: to spike, bash, maim or otherwise not catch a ball with the thing on your hand that many people call a glove.

Third, keep a positive attitude. The 1996 Yankees ’86 Mets and ’85 royals lost the first two at home and won the World Series.  

Fourth, kick Jose Altuve in the ass for trying to steal third base in the first inning of Game 2. Then have him kick Carlos Correa in the ass for giving up in the ninth inning. Granted you were down 10 runs, but Correa can’t loaf over to watch a medium-hit Howie Kendrick liner hit the dirt four feet to his right. 

Fifth, distract Nationals third base coach Bob Henley with continuous requests. ‘Hey Bob. Play Hotel California. Hey Bob. Play Hotel California.” Take advantage of confusion on the base paths after he tries to strangle Altuve and is ejected. 

Sixth, take solace in knowing the 17 runs by the road team in this series is most since 1960 in the first two games.  The offending Yankees then lost to the Pirates. 

Seventh, you won 107 games this year. Act like it. A loose Astros team is a dangerous Astros team. There were a lot of intense and worried faces in that dugout. Somebody needs a bubble gum hat and a hot foot within the first four pitches of Game 3.

That should get us at least to Tuesday.

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